is this thing on? part 2

I haven't blogged in forever (well, about 4 1/2 years based on that last entry), and I really miss it.  So much has changed since my last adventure in writing.  I'm basically like a completely different person, and it's kind of been getting me down lately.  I asked my boyfriend if he thought this is what a midlife crisis is like (I'm 31), and he said maybe.  I just feel like I don't really know myself anymore.  I asked him if he really loved the person that he started dating 3 1/2 years ago, because I feel so different (out of touch) from that person now.  Sure, some of the changes have been for the best (leaving behind bad habits - quit smoking after 14 years), but some things are just so different from who I used to be.  I enjoy a lot of the hobbies that I have now (geek all the way - play video games and D&D), but I miss the spontaneity of the old me.  The one who didn't schedule things out, and have all Friday nights devoted to D&D.  The person that would go out dancing with friends, or go to shows, or travel.  Sure a lot of those things cost money, but not everything does, and it all doesn't have to be super expensive either.  I don't have kids, so what is holding me back?

I guess this is the first step to reclaiming that lost part of myself.  Getting back into writing - it's something I miss, along with artwork.  But I run the household (even having no kids, my live-in boyfriend works overnights, so I find myself in charge of meals, most household stuff, etc), and I admin on a gaming social networking site in addition to my regular job, and I just feel like between all of that I don't have time to do what I'm into.  I give up my Friday nights to play D&D.  Which most of the time is perfectly ok.  I love my friends that I play with, but I don't think the BF gets it because he's an introvert, and I'm an extrovert.  I like to spend time with more than the same 5 friends.  I have many friends who I don't get to see hardly at all, and I could use those Friday nights once in a while to do stuff with them.  It doesn't have to be every Friday, but c'mon.  It's one night of my weekend, so bascially 1/4 of my entire weekend, already devoted to something, year round.  That sounds more like work than social life to me.

Anyway, as I was saying... just trying a blog on for size.  It's been so long, and the browser I'm using (not at home - IE - I have use Chrome at home) has issues with Blogger, so it's a little bit of a crapshoot just to hoping this posts.

If I keep this up, expect posts about life, my struggle to find myself, and probably some weight loss stuff, because that's yet another thing I'm going through.

Well... here goes nothing.